“We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us.” ~ 2 Corinthians 5:20
Friends, in my sorting to find things I packed during the move; I ran across a newsletter “Pondering” that I wrote for March 2022. It concerned an issue that I find I need to readdress in my life. I have gotten so ‘busy’ that I sometimes find myself rushing through or past important things. Maybe I’m not as ‘present’ during a conversation as I should be, or perhaps I’m taking some short-cuts that shouldn’t be taken. Anyway, I guess God wanted me to remember something important, so He put this little ‘Pondering’ back in my hands…..Don’t you just hate it when God uses your own words to point out an issue that needs change?!
I didn’t really hear her at first. Well, I heard but I didn’t completely understand. That happens to me sometimes on Sundays, especially after the service. People tell me things or say things to me as I am rushing here or there. Sometimes I’m just not as focused on them as I should be, so their words just float over my head. There’s just too much going on…too many people needing something or saying something or calling my name. And she…well…she is so small and so young and so soft spoken….her words….just didn’t register with me. That is…not until her grandma translated.
I had just given her and her sister a small plastic heart. (The kids always like to come to my office after service and see what treasures I have to share.) Grandma reminded them to say ‘thank you’ to Pastor Terri. I heard one little voice say, ‘Thank you’ and then the other little voice said, what I thought was ‘thanks’ but she said something more that I didn’t quite hear. I just simply responded with “you are so welcome’. But their grandmother started to chuckle and said, “She called you God.” “What!?”, I said. Grandma smiled and said. “She just said, ‘thanks, God!’” We both had a little chuckle about that, and I remarked that I had been called some pretty strange things, but this was a first!
On my way home though, it started to hit me. She is about three or so and cute as a button. She is happy and lively and healthy and …..she thinks I’m God! I guess it kinda makes sense to someone her age. I mean, she only sees me on Sunday where she goes to learn about God. And, that’s all she hears me talk about while she’s here. I guess I can understand why her young mind might jump to that conclusion.
My first thought was how flattered I was. I mean…to be mistaken for God! Then I thought about how enlightened she was (even though she didn’t realize it) to believe that God might be a woman! But then I started to think about other things…If I am God to her, (not just representing Him but AM Him)…..well….that’s quite a responsibility! Her little heart is so impressionable…. if I were to mess up in front of her…as God!!!! Wow! I could really hurt her spiritual growth and her future connection with Him. And that’s quite a big….no that’s a HUGE responsibility!
God does these sorts of things to me every now and again. He sort of slaps me in the face with a reality of the vocation I’m in. It’s hard to live up to the responsibility of being a person in a pastoral leadership role. I’m human…. I make mistakes… I say the wrong things… I forget stuff… I misread signals… I make hasty decisions… I fail! (GASP! I know!!!) As a Christian, and especially as a Christian leader, my mess-ups reflect upon God. My flaws and frailties sometimes make it look like I’m not connected to Him. And sometimes, when I mess up… someone gets their feelings hurt, or worst, they might not get the spiritual guidance or comfort that they need.
That little voice, that little face…saying ‘thanks, God’, reminded me of the HUGE responsibility I have as Pastor and as a Christian. She may be three (or so), but she is already forming opinions and connections. Her little eyes are watching, her little ears are hearing and my input, casual or not, can make an imprint on her life. In fact, anyone who has heard me describe myself as pastor and Christian, could be forming opinions about God because of my actions and responses. That old saying, ‘you might be the only Jesus someone ever sees’ hits me a little differently since she mistook me for God. I don’t want to mess this up! Especially for her! I want her to come to know the God I love and to trust Him. I want her to trust me!
Someday, she will come to know that I am not God. Someone will correct her… enlighten her and she will find that I make mistakes and am no more than a very HUMAN Pastor! But until then, I’ve got to UP my game! I’ve got to let God shine through all that I say or do…especially around her!
So, if I seem a little ‘different’ to you….especially if I am around a certain little sweetheart, just know that I am trying my best to live up to my heritage and imitate my Father. I’m trying to love like He does and forgive like He does and be the kind of person that SHE expects (and He hopes) that I will be. And really, that’s not a bad thing is it…to try to emulate God? To live (especially in front of her) as if I were Him with mercy and grace and love and forgiveness. Yeah, that can be a pretty tall order. But for her….yea for her….I’m gonna try.
